Friday, January 26, 2018

WHEN A GOOD MAN DIES

 
 Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his faithful servants. 
Psalms 116:15 (NIV)





Nine years ago today, this precious man went home to be with Jesus.  Terry and I had been in love since we were teenagers and had been married for 33 1/2 years, so together for 35 1/2 years.  He was not a perfect man by any means. But, he was a good man.  A man who loved the Lord, me, his family and people in general.  He was a happy individual, always laughing and cracking jokes or playing pranks on someone.

He was an only child, but most certainly gained two little sisters when he chose me.  Charlotte and Debra loved him dearly, and still do.  He loved my parents as much as his own.  When Momma died, it broke his heart because he loved her so much.  He grieved for our loss, especially for Daddy.  For a long time, he could barely stand to be in their home because he missed her so much.  She and Daddy had always treated him like their own son, not a son-in-law, but their son.  That is where I learned that our in-laws are not "in-laws", rather they are "in-loves".  My sister's husbands are not my brothers-in-law, they are my brothers because of love.

My sister's kids loved him.  He was nothing more than a big kid himself and was always picking on them and playing around with them, teasing them....you know, a typical teenager!  He loved those kids more than his own life.  When he was sick and dying, he so wanted to see our niece and her family again before he left. He had not seen them in 2 years and missed her so very much.  He wasn't able to attend our family Christmas gathering but Katie, Brian and the children came by our house before leaving West Tennessee.  It settled him in for the final journey,  He had seen his "blond bombshell" and now he could go home.

So, about three weeks later, he did just that.  He left his mortal body behind and entered that heavenly rest we all long for so often.  He was so ready to be there.  Although he did not want to leave me, he knew it was his time to leave and he accepted that with peace.

When I remarried, many people didn't understand.  Because Terry and I had had such a good marriage, people didn't understand how I could remarry.  It was BECAUSE Terry and I had such a good marriage that I could remarry and love again.  This marriage, like any marriage, has it's problems and we have our struggles.  Marriage isn't easy but it is a wonderful experience if you work at it.  But it takes two and those two must submit first to the Lord and secondly to each other.

 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 
Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)
  So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Ephesians 5:28 (NIV) 

Paul teaches us in Ephesians 5 that a wife should submit to her husband and that isn't a difficult thing to do when a husband does as Paul commands, men love your wive as your own body. Marriage isn't easy, but it can be successful and fulfilling when both partners are living it the way Scriptures teach us.  We leave our birth family and we become one.  One cannot be separated without causing grievous injury to the other.  All other relationships are second EXCEPT our relationship with Jesus Christ.  I loved my parents but they were second after I married.  Christ first, mate second, others come after.  That is the way ordained by Scripture.  When we leave that plan, we create chaos in our lives.
I never doubted the only person who came before me with Terry was the Lord.  Did we have struggles?  Yes, of course we did.  Any married couple who says they do not is being untruthful with themselves.  We are human, we hurt each other sometimes, but forgiveness heals many deep wounds when practiced according to God's plan.

So, Terry, nine years have passed and I am remarried but I will always love you.  That does not mean I don't love my current husband because I do.  The love I have for Terry lives in my heart's memory bank and is precious to me.  The love I share with my current husband is a daily, active love.

I am so thankful I had Terry in my life.  He taught me things about myself.  He stood by me while I grew up because, believe me, no one is grown when they are 17!  We may think we are, we are wrong. Every one comes into our lives for a reason.  I have no doubt God sent Terry into my life because few men would have put up with such an obstinate girl who was quick to say what she was and was not gonna do.  Let me tell you, if you make a marriage work, you do a lot of things you said you would never do!

  Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.  For we live by faith, not by sight.   We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.
II Corinthians 5:6-8 (NIV)

Terry has made that last journey and is now no longer confined by the fleshly body that gave him so much pain during the last nine years of his life.  After his accident, he yearned to go home.  Not his earthly home, but his heavenly home.  He finally was allowed to make that transition on January 26, 2009.  Rest in peace Terry.  We love you and we miss you and we always will.

No comments: