Honor and Duty

Today, November 11, is set aside to pay tribute to those valiant Americans who have served their country in times of war.  In my family, the military is an honored tradition.  I have chosen to honor here only those family members whom I have known personally.  Many have served whom I did not know personally. 

To every man or woman who has served our country, I offer heartfelt appreciation for your sacrifice.  Our country can only remain great as long as there are men and women who are willing to make the sacrifices you have made.  Thank you for showing us the way to patriotism and honor by your commitment and service.

All gave some...........some gave all........may we never forget.

Ralph Fentress Newland
11 Jun 1915 - 13 Feb 1998
European Theater, World War II
The Battle of the Bulge
U.S. Army



Uncle Buster was how I knew this quiet man.  He never spoke of his service.  By research, I discovered he fought in the Battle of the Bulge and received many honors for his gallantry and sacrifice in the face of extreme danger.  I will never forget Uncle Buster or the way he quietly went about his every day life. 

After returning from Europe, he married and moved to Flint, MI.  There he became a plumbers apprentice and earned entry into the union.  He worked there until his retirement.  Upon retirement, he and Aunt Mayena moved back to Tennessee, where both lived out the remainder of their lives. 



Van Patterson McDonald
4 Nov 1932 - 20 Sept 2011
Germany
Sharp Shooter Team Leader
Post-Korean War Era
U.S. Army

 This is my Daddy.  I honestly never knew how proud he was of his service to our country or how much he valued it until the very last days of his life.  Prior to being called home, Daddy made very specific requests regarding how his Memorial Flag should be cared for and respected.  He was buried with military honors.  I have never felt quite so honored as when the soldier placed that flag in my hands at the graveside ceremony.  It is a moment in my life I will never forget.

Daddy led a sharp shooter team (now known as sniper squads) in Germany and was offered a promotion to Sergeant and an entire squadron if he would re-enlist.  He chose not to do so and return home to Tennessee and the farm where his family lived.  He was notified of possible deployment to South Vietnam in February of 1957.  He and Momma had planned to marry that month, but delayed their wedding until they knew if he would be deployed.  They waited until March with no definite word from the military.  They decided to go ahead with the wedding.  Thankfully, he was never deployed.

Brian Keith Eppers
19 Mary 1980 -
Iraq
Operation Iraqi Freedom
Medic
U.S. Army

Brian (my nephew-in-love) enlisted in the Army after 9/11 with full knowledge that he would be deployed.  He trained as a Medic and was deployed to Iraq in early 2005.  He spent nearly a year there and returned home just before Christmas in December of that year. 

I will never forget the look on his face, or that of his children, as they saw him for the first time when he returned home.  Pure joy and absolute love shone from the face of Brian, my niece Katie and their children Alix and Jaden, as the kids ran across the parking lot to see their Daddy for the first time in almost a year. 

Brian continues to serve with the U.S. Army as a Medical NCO, Weapons of Mass Destruction, Civil Support Team member.  To say we are proud of him is a gross understatement.



Caleb McDonald Watkins
6 Mar 1991 -
Military Police
U.S. Army
TN Army National Guard

 This dashing young man is my youngest nephew.  He graduated from the U.S. Army AIT training at Ft. Leonard Wood, MO on Oct 20 of this year.  He is now an official member of the TN Army National Guard as a Military Policeman. 

What roads lie ahead for Caleb, we do not know.  He has so many plans for his future, realizing that the Army has first claim on his time and commitment.  I cannot tell you how proud we were to stand in that auditorium and see him walk across that stage to receive the Top Gun award for his entire platoon! 

Where he will go from here, only God knows.  I have every confidence he will make his mark in this world; a mark for his God and his country.

Endure suffering along with me,

as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life,

for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them.

2 Timothy 2: 3-4



His First Birthday in Heaven



Daddy and Momma
March 23, 1997
40-yr. Vow Renewal Ceremony
Brints Chapel Baptist Church


It was a chilled and frosty November morning on November 4, 1932.  My Maw and Paw McDonald hadn't gotten much sleep the night prior.  Maw had labored hard to give birth to a bouncing, healthy baby boy during the wee hours of the morning.  That baby boy was my Daddy, Van Patterson McDonald.  He always told us Maw named him after a cowboy.  I was never sure just who that cowboy was, but it brought Daddy happiness to tell the story and that is all that mattered to me.

Daddy was the second of four sons born to Maw and Paw.  His older brother, Troy, was born on Feb. 8, 1931 and had lived for less than 24 hours.  When Maw found herself pregnant again almost exactly one year later, she was thrilled.  When Daddy was born healthy, she was beyond thankful and joyful to have her child growing and happy.

By the time Daddy turned 10, Paw had bought the farm where Daddy would spend the remainder of his days.  His only time away from the farm was the 2 years he was in the Army from 1953-1955.  He loved the farm and farm life.  It was his dream to own his own land, grow crops and animals and a family.  His dream never materialized as he would have wanted, but he did live it in a small way.

A couple of years after he and Momma married, they moved in to a small 4 room house Daddy and Paw had built on the farm and they started to raise a family, cows, pigs and a couple of horses and some chickens.  He didn't have crops because there was no time for crops after tending to his animals and working at his factory job.  He had a large vegetable garden and a truck patch and that was enough to satisfy him.

The years passed and his family grew and came to include sons-in-love and eventually grandchildren and great-grandchildren. When Momma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and her heath began to fail, Daddy gave up everything he enjoyed to devote himself completely to caring for Momma.  He sold his cows and stopped growing his vegetables when it became evident that Momma needed him to be by her side almost 24 hours a day.

He was completely devoted to Momma and rarely left her side.  His own health began to decline, but he remained vigilant at Mommas side.  He let us come in and help with household chores and drive Momma to her doctor's appointments.  I don't think we really understood then why he did that.   We came to understand that those times were the only time he had to restore himself and have time for a break.

When Momma went home to be with Jesus in April, 2006, Daddy was devastated.  He stayed at their home for the remainder of that year, but became sicker with each passing month.  His doctor became concerned that he would die soon if he didn't find a way to overcome the grief.  He moved from their home to live with my middle sister and her family for about the next year.

My youngest sister and her husband bought the family farm in 2008 and Daddy moved back to the house to live with them.  They both had health issues and he would spend time with my other sister while health issues were attended to.  I was living with my mother-in-love and then was taking care of my terminally ill husband.  My husband went home to be with Jesus in January, 2009.  For the first year, I was in no shape to care for myself, much less anyone else.

In March, 2010, I finally came back to my own home to live.  Daddy came to live with me in June, 2010 and remained with me until the morning he went to be with Jesus on Sept. 20, 2011.  It was my joy to take care of him and have him with me for those last 15 months of his life.  I will be forever thankful to have had the opportunity to give back to him a small portion of the caring he had given me since the day of my birth.

So, today Daddy would have been 79.  What joy to know he now walks the streets of heaven with our Lord, Momma and our baby sister, as well as other loved ones who have already gone home with the Lord. 

Happy Birthday in Heaven Daddy.  I love you so much more than I ever realized while you were here with me.  I am so thankful God made you my Daddy and for the love you gave me all the days of your life after I came into it.  I am thankful you are at rest and no longer sick and suffering.  You are now eternally well and at peace.  Praise the Lord!

Pride and Prejudice.....



The Grands, 1992
Jared, Caleb, Katie, Adam and Jacob

See that little blond haired boy sitting on his sister's lap?  That is my youngest nephew, Caleb.  This was taken during the summer of 1992 when Caleb was just over one year old.  His Momma hadn't yet been able to cut his curls.  He was our last baby and we all wanted to keep that 'baby' appearance for as long as possible!

Caleb has always been his own person; never like his brothers or his sister, quite unique.  He could entertain himself for hours since a very early age. He's always had an intense interest in what was happening around him, noticing details that would escape others of his age or even a few years older.

During his 'middle years', Caleb struggled with his weight.  He turned 18 and suddenly had focus and determination none of us knew was there.  He decided he was going to get his weight down and immediately went to work doing so.  He ran every day, he ate well, he had discipline I must admit I not only admired, but sometimes was a bit envious of.

About this same time, he decided he would join the military in some manner and did so.  He came home to announce he had signed his papers and was enlisted with the Army Guard.  He would be leaving for Basic Training that summer.  We were so very proud of him, while being apprehensive about his decision and what the possible consequences could be.

He made plans to enter the ROTC with a long range goal of working for either the Secret Service or some branch of national security.  Suddenly the boy had become a man right before our eyes.  He had always been responsible beyond his years, but we were now in awe of his decisiveness.  Basic Training came and went and some of his plans didn't pan out as planned.  He dealt with the disappointment and moved forward.

AIT was scheduled for the next summer and he moved forward.  Time for the AIT training approached and he began again to get into that 'military' mindset.  He left for Ft. Leonard Wood and we waited for the day for graduation.  That day came on Oct. 20.

His Mom, Dad and I travelled to Missouri with our hearts bursting with pride.  Family Day was wonderful.  He had excelled in his AIT and was graduating with honors in marksmanship.  Well, of course he was!  Graduation Day dawned and we were there an hour before we could go in!  Finally, we found our seats and waited for the joy to become reality.

As we waited, we felt our hearts grow with appreciation not only for our soldier, but for every young man and young woman there.  What a joy to see them so disciplined and proud to be serving their country!  Caleb's time to walk across the stage came.  His name was called and he strode purposefully across the stage to accept his award as the Top Gun for his entire platoon!  Our little boy had now become a man and had out performed every other man and woman in his platoon, including the Drill Sergeants!

Talk about proud!  I don't know about his Mom and Dad, but his Aunt Di cried and laughed and praised the Lord as she watched that little boy who was now a man march across that stage!  I filmed video while his Mom snapped pictures and his Dad just sat back and allowed us to be the women we are! 

Last Thursday, Caleb accompanied me on a trip to Nashville for a doctor's appointment.  We stopped at a little quick stop for a snack and a potty break.  As I stood at the counter paying for my banana nut muffin and my Coke, I caught a glimpse of Caleb standing nearby quietly observing the surroundings.  There he stood, strong and straight, with his arms relaxed and hands clasped before him.  He quietly looked back and forth around the business.

I cannot express with words the pride in my heart as I saw him there.  Men and women were coming and going and each took their turn in glancing at him.  Some walked a bit faster as they neared him, some walked a bit straighter, some smiled with that pride one feels when they know they are in the presence of a person who is trained to defend their country.

Yes, our little boy was now a man.  How thankful am I that I have been allowed to be a part of his life and that he is in my life.  I am proud of you Caleb.  I am proud of the pride you have in serving your country, of the dedication you have shown to every aspect of your life; but more than all of these, I am proud that you love the Lord Jesus and serve Him with the same dedication, pride and faithfulness you have shown to your military commitment.

I love you my nephew; I always have and I always will.



Caleb
AIT Graduation
Oct. 20, 2011
Ft. Leonard Wood, MO





My hubby, Terry
October 2002
California Redwood National Forest
2 years after his accident

I'm not really sure why, but for the past couple of months I've been spending a lot of my quiet time reflecting on the days following my husband's auto accident on April 13, 2000.

He had a multitude of injuries, both internally and externally. the most debilitating of which was a bi-lateral acetabular fracture.  The acetabulum is the area of the pelvic bone where the ball of the femur fits.  Both sides of his pelvis were broken numerous times.  He was placed in bi-lateral traction in order to keep his joints in proper alignment while the doctors decided what route to take in attempting to repair his injuries.

After the initial week, I was told his injuries were most likely not life threatening but that he most likely would never walk again.  I was so thankful to know that he would live that I completely ignored the news regarding his ability to walk.  On day 12 of his stay in TICU, a decision was made to attempt surgical repair of the left acetabulum, which was successful.  The right side, however, was much like a jigsaw puzzle with too many pieces to be manually repaired.  He would remain flat of his back and in traction on the right side for the next 3 1/2 months.

After being flat of his back for so long, his body had to relearn how to keep his blood pressure up when he sat upright.  His sense of direction was gone and he had to be retaught how to orient himself from a lying to a sitting position.  After those things were accomplished, he was finally able to try to stand.  If he could accomplish standing and taking even 3 steps, he would be moved to inpatient rehab to see how far he could go.  We were reminded that the ability to walk was most likely not attainable.

After several days of being raised to a standing position on a tilt table, he felt he was able to try to take a step.  As they stood him up, I watched in anguish as I saw the tears roll down his face and his grimace as the pain racked his body.  He would grit his teeth and refuse to give up.  It took a weeks worth of trying several times daily, but he did finally accomplish 5 steps with a lot of help from a team of physical therapists.

We were told we would be moving upstairs to the long term inpatient rehab unit over the following weekend.  Monday brought a new day with new goals and so much suffering I was afraid the pain alone would kill him.  When he stood for the first time at the parallel bars, the PT encouraged him to take only 5-6 steps.  He said "No, I'll walk the full length before I leave this room today".  I don't remember how many steps it was, but I remember the pain and suffering reflected on his face as he took each one. 

As I stood at the opposite end of the bars, he would look me in the face and say "Greater is He than is in me" and push forward.  If he became tired again or if the pain became unbearable, he would say "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".  It seemed like hours but he finally made it to me and his wheelchair.  He turned himself and collapsed into his chair as we both sobbed.  The entire room was cheering him on...PTs, patients, family members of other patients, everyone was cheering him on!

His PT ran to him and fell to the floor embracing me and him as we all cried together.  She told me to take him back to his room and give him a good hot shower and pain meds would be ordered and ready for him.  He spoke up immediately and said "No, I'm gonna walk back" and instructed me to take the chair back to the other end of the bars.  I did so as the PT begged him not to try it.  He would have none of it.

Again, with so much pain on his face that I feared a heart attack brought on by the pain, he made each step and quoted scriptures as he went.  He had a sciatic nerve injury which left him unable to lift his left leg.  He didn't yet have his brace, so he made that walk to and fro on the bars while dragging his left leg and physically planting it before each new step.

As I watched him, I was so acutely aware of some things:
1.  He was taking every step for me;
2.  Suffering is a motivator if you have the right attitude;
3.  The Lord is bigger than any struggle we face or any pain we may feel; and
4.  If anyone COULD walk again, it was going to be my husband!

Now that he has been at rest with our Lord for 32 months, I reflect on those lessons and realize just how true those observations were.  Terry didn't bring a wheelchair home, he walked into our front door with the assistance of a walker, which he soon traded for a cane and eventually was able to walk without an assistive device at most times. 

While I stood by his side and suffered every step of the way with him, the Lord was always there.  He held us up through our family and friends and sometimes even strangers.

Terry's suffering motivated me to love him more and to appreciate him more.  It motivated each of us to love our Lord more, to grow to know Him more intimately, to depend on Him for our every need.

And finally, yes Terry took every step for me.  Numerous times over the years, he said to me "Di, I would have quit if I hadn't known I had you.  I would have just lay in that bed and given up.  You are the reason I worked so hard.  Every day I asked the Lord to help me because I had to do it for you".

Do you know anyone who is suffering?  Keep in mind that suffering can be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.  Perhaps what they need in order to overcome is someone to walk alongside them and give them a motivation to move forward.  A brief visit to a hospital bedside, a card in the mail to encourage and uplift, a visit to pray with someone, a phone call to say "I'm coming over if that's ok with you.  What can I bring"?  Encouragement is so simple yet may mean the difference between someone giving up or moving forward.

Precious Father, please help me be a light of encouragement to all I see.  Help me be sensitive to your guidance as I meet the suffering day by day.  Allow me to be your instrument in bringing peace into lives of chaos.  In Jesus name......................AMEN.

Daddy's Home!

Van Patterson McDonald
"Daddy"
Nov. 4, 1932 - Sept. 20, 2011

One week ago my family and I said "See you later" to my Daddy.  He had suffered for many years with C.O.P.D. and had become very ill.  He had been in Hospice care since this past January.  We knew the time was soon, but it always seems to come before we are prepared.

Daddy's home going was so peaceful.  There was no gasping for breathe, not even very labored breathing.  He was peaceful right up until his last breath.  We had been so concerned about the time of his dying because the doctors had been very straight-forward about how hard the dying could be for someone with his illness.  We prayed that he would not suffer.  God answered our prayers and Daddy suffered very little as he left his mortal body behind and crossed into his eternal rest with the Lord.

As we stood at his bedside, we were sad; but more than that, we were happy for him because he now sits at the feet of our Lord and has joined Momma and our baby sister, as well as other family members who have gone on before him.  Perfect peace entered the room the minute the Lord came for him.  What a blessing to have been witness to that moment.

He was a precious Daddy, a loving husband to my Momma until the day she went home, a caring brother and a courageous saint who was dearly loved by his church.  He left a legacy of love for the Lord and his family.  We will miss him in the days that lie ahead, but we eagerly await that day when we will see him again. 

One of the most precious memories of this time will be my little 4 year old grand-niece who asked repeatedly to lie beside Papaw Mac in his bed.  We would lay her beside Daddy.  She would lay her head on his chest and reach her little arms up and around his neck and kiss his face.  She would say "I love you, Papaw Mac".  Even at the funeral home, she could not be calmed until she had kissed his face and told him she loved him.

Our entire family was in and out during the weekend prior to his passing.  We all spent time at his bedside and treasured the blessing of being there.  His youngest grandson is in AIT in Ft. Leonard Wood, MO and could not get leave to come home for the funeral.  His heart was broken and our hearts were broken for him.

We are now back to our 'normal life', whatever that is.  We move forward knowing Daddy is where his heart has longed to be since the day Momma left us.  He now can run up and down the streets of glory with as much air in his lungs when he stops as when he started.  That is precious to those of us who have witnessed his progressive illness taking him from us in small steps along the way.

We love you Daddy.  We will always miss you but we will see you again!

Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

Psalm 116:15  (KJV)