Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Open Hands...............

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Hello my friends. I have been absent for a very long time. If you are still here, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

As most, if not all, of you are aware, it has now been just over one year since my husband went home to be with Jesus. Although I am thankful every day that his suffering is over and he is now at rest with the Lord, the grieving process has been extremely difficult for me.

Since October 10, 2009, I have been living with my middle sister, Charlotte, and my BIL, Ricky. They were kind and generous enough to take me in when the doctors told me I should not be living alone until I could do better emotionally and physically.

With the help of my wonderful family, some very precious friends and the mercy of Almighty God, I am now much improved. So many people have prayed, and continue to pray, so many prayers for me. I am forever grateful to you for praying for me when I was unable to pray for myself.

Life is now feeling good again and I will be moving back into the house I shared with Terry for 26 years. I know things will never be same there without him, but it is where we built our life together and where our memories are. I need those memories now and look forward to getting back there.

We had moved from our home to my MIL's home in August, 2006 in order for me to take care of her. As my husband became more and more ill, we were unable to move back home before he went to be with Jesus. I have been torn between wanting to stay at my MIL's house, because that is where Terry died, or move back to our home. I now know for certain going back to our home is the right thing to do.

It has been a long and difficult journey. I am still praying and asking the Lord to help me with finding my place in His Kingdom. For so many years, Terry and I served together. I now have to find my place as a single woman of God. I make no assumptions and am open to the direction of the Holy Spirit as I search.

The first paragraph of this post I received in an email recently. It reminded me that when God closes a door, he opens a window. It will never be the same because Terry will no longer be at my side. However, his memory lives on in my heart and in my memory and the Lord continues to walk by my side and to carry me when I need Him to do so.

I am indeed doing something I have never done. I am anxious to see the doors of opportunity the Lord will open for me as He leads me into the area of service He will have me in. I am eager to serve Him and grow in His knowledge and the understanding of His Word.

So many doors are now open to me that were previously closed due to the fact that I had to be with Terry. I want to make sure I don't step off into my own will when choosing which path to take. Therefore, I will proceed slowly but steadily as I depend on Him to guide my steps.

I place my trust in Him and know that the will of God will never lead me where the Grace of God will not keep and protect me. The future now looks bright to me. Yes, there will continue to be sad times and even sad days, but in my sadness I can turn to Him and know that He understands and is there with me. When He left us, His Word tells us He left us with peace and a Friend to guide us. Praise God for that

As I comtemplate the peace of the Lord and His presence in my daily life, I am reminded of the passage from St. John 14 where Jesus tells His disciples about the coming of that Friend, the Holy Spirit. How blessed we are that Jesus knew we would need that Friend and provided for us.

Peace and a Friend to comfort me....what else could I possibly need in my hour of despair?!

"Because a loveless world," said Jesus, "is a sightless world. If anyone loves me, he will carefully keep my word and my Father will love him—we'll move right into the neighborhood! Not loving me means not keeping my words. The message you are hearing isn't mine. It's the message of the Father who sent me.

"I'm telling you these things while I'm still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I'm leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Peace. I don't leave you the way you're used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don't be upset. Don't be distraught.

St. John 14: 23-27

(The Message)


Pat said...

Hello my sweet good to have you writing your blog again. You've been missed!
The Lord is doing great things in your life, and He will continue to walk by your side and even carry you when necessary.
Sending prayers and hugs!

Pam said...

I am so glad to see you back again. I am thankful that you are doing much better now. I'll continue to pray for you.

Trish said...

So happy to see that you are back!
I can feel the happiness in your words my friend...God is so good.

Keetha Broyles said...

I'm not quite sure how I missed this post, some days I don't get all the way through my follow list, and perhaps this was posted on one such day.

What in the WORLD are those kids doing with the blow-up pool toys. It looks like duck-duck-goose around floaties!

I know transition after a loss such as yours is very difficult. I can't even begin to imagine it. I'm pulling for you.

Denise said...

Diane!!! I'm so happy to see you posting again. You have been in my prayers.

I'm glad to hear you are doing better & look forward to seeing your posts!