A New Habit

"I trust you, Jesus".  That is the habit I am trying to develop as this year begins.  When anything comes my way that seems more than I can handle, I want my immediate response to be "I trust you, Jesus".  

Why is that so difficult for me?  I have been a Christian since I was 11 years old.  Jesus has walked beside me, often carrying me, through some dark and difficult times.  He has never failed; he has never left me.  Doesn't that sound like someone who deserves my trust?  Yes, of course it does!  Then, again I ask, why is it so difficult for me?

I want my way, that's why.  I don't want to trust Jesus to carry me through while he works his way in me....I want my way!  I am like a spoiled child who stamps my feet and whines until I believe I am getting it my way.  Not gonna happen my friends!  NOT GONNA HAPPEN!  Jesus loves me, and you, too much for that.

Truthfully, when you relent and allow your children to have their own way, aren't you thinking "go ahead, have it your way, see what that get's you"?  Sometimes, when I think I have won, that's exactly what Jesus does with me.  "Ok, my child, go ahead, have it your way, see what that gets you!"  NOT because he doesn't love me, but because HE DOES!

More than you or I can comprehend, Jesus loves us.  He does not give up on us.  We can trust him.  Why, oh why, do we keep taking him back through the struggles when difficult times come?  He has proven over and over again he is there for us, he has our best interest at heart.  He loves us with an everlasting love.  It has no beginning and it has no ending.  We can trust him.

This is my daily struggle.  I am so stubborn.  There is no one in my life who has never failed me, no one except Jesus.  I can trust him.  He loves me.  He wants only his best for me.  I tell myself these things, but usually after I've argued with him for a while trying to get him to relent and let me have it my way.  

Trust is believing in the reliability of Jesus so much that I am willing to give my will over to his,  knowing the outcome will be a perfect one and will bring multiple blessings to me.  Yet, I make it such a difficult thing to do.  He has proven himself over and over, but I demand MORE.

Dear Jesus, help me to allow the simple fact of your unfailing love to be ever my first thought when problems come.  Help me to say "Lord, I trust you because I know you want only the best for me".  It's a simple prayer but that's something else I'm learning, God isn't impressed with my verbal skills.  He just wants simple words of faith from a sincere heart.  I am trying Lord, I am trying.

I cannot hide from God and nothing can keep me from his presence.  I can trust Him.