Wednesday, November 19, 2008

My New Friend

I met a new friend today. She is 22, has a 2 year old daughter and is married to a wonderful man (her description!). She has faith that impresses me. She has courage the inspires me. She has an outlook on life that encourages me. She has end stage liver disease and is dying.

Can you remember what struggles you faced when you were 22? I had been married for 5 years, had just built a new house, was estatically happy with my life and everything about it. I worked alongside my husband running an automotive parts retail business. I was deeply involved in my church and going every minute of every day that I wasn't sleeping, which was very little. (At that time in my life, I didn't see the necessity of sleep. Thought it was only a waste of time!) I had a beautiful little 3 year old nephew that we were spoiling rotten and had just welcomed a precious little niece into our world. Life couldn't have been any better for us.

Yet, I found things to complain about. I wished for a newer car, cause I didn't like mine anymore. I wished I had done things differently in our newly built home, cause I didn't like the way some things had turned out. I complained about our job because working for the public can be demanding on your personal time. We didn't vacation enough. I wanted new furniture. I needed a hot tub on my patio. I wanted to hire a gardner to do the landscaping in our yard so it would look nice and impress all our neighbors. I want, I need, can we have, let's get this, our neighbors have that, etc., etc. etc. I was 22 and full of youthful ideas and too ungrateful for what I already had.

My new friend is 22, mothering a precious child and caring for a loving husband, giving so much more than she is getting or even asking for, a stalwart of hope and support for everyone around her, and she is dying.

Fast forward and now I'm nearly 51. I have health problems, my husband has end stage liver disease and he is dying. He's 54. I have trouble with handling the stress. I vassilate between complete acceptance and complete disbelief. My faith is so weak on some days that I have trouble even talking to the Lord. I'm so overwhelmed by it all that I get angry and hostile toward complete strangers.

And, then there's my new friend; 22 and dying and still being an inspiration to all around her. How adolescent I am in my spiritual development! Thank you Lord Jesus, for bringing this precious young woman into my life. Thank you for showing me how much I have to learn about you and how little I already know. Thank you most of all for giving me the chance to do better.

But, that's what you're all about, isn't it Lord? Opening my life in a way so as to expose my sin and making a path for me to correct that sin. How many times have I wandered around in complete darkness when You are the Light and were there waiting for me to turn to You? You, who will forgive my failures and reignite in me a desire to walk holy and humbly with You. You, who loves me with an unphantomable love that has no beginning or ending.

I can be at my soul's deepest moment of sorrow and You send someone or something to remind me of Your love and Your desire to be a friend to me. You are an awesome and wonderful Lord! You alone are worthy of my praise and devotion!

Dear Lord Jesus, please help me be worthy of You.


The Raggedy Girl said...

What an inspiration to make our lives special right now and I think to just step off the rat race and away from the stress. We can create homes that are havens from the world, we can make a little heaven in our homes.

snowflakes said...

I understand that whole, "when I was a child I talked like a child...." struggle. What a blessing your friend is to all of us.