Thursday, April 30, 2009
I know you've noticed that I have added a music playlist to my blog. It has quite an eclectic assortment of music thereon. I don't usually listen to so much secular music and haven't for several years. I still enjoy almost all types of music, but usually choose to listen to praise and worship music or instrumentals.
I have felt the need lately to re-visit the music Terry and I loved and listened to as we grew in love. Both of us loved music and loved listening to it. His 8 track player was always playing when we were dating. After we got married, the music simply moved indoors with us. It played while we cleaned the house. The car radio or 8 track played while we worked in the yard or washed the car. Our lives were entwined with it.
Those old songs can open memories that I have long had locked away. Listening to them has brought me so much joy, and yes some pain as well. I close my eyes and not only is Terry with me again, but we are young and in love and our lives are spread before us. So much to learn and to do and to experience. Joys and pains we could not have dreamed awaited us. And we were so ready to walk into them because we were together.
Neither of us were talented vocalists, but you wouldn't have thought we knew that if you had been hiding, watching and listening! We sang out loud our love songs to each other. We danced around our house as though we were the only people on the earth. He played his air guitar with the best of them!
Some of the music is later. Music that touched our collective heart as we grew older together. Words and melodies that are the sound track of our life together. I don't know how long it will remain here. It's like my rings, I can't take them off. I now wear his wedding band as well. I wear it on my middle finger next to my rings. It just seems to be the right place for it right now.
It's strange to me that it is still so painful to think of the recent years together, but those memories of the early years bring me so much joy. Looking at pictures of recent years is still hard to do, but I could sit all day looking at pictures from the early years.
The same is true of the music. Very little of the playlist is devoted to music from the later years. The vast majority is the soundtrack of the early years. It seems I have had to begin the journey where we began. I don't know how long it will take to proceed. It's not important. For now, living in those memories is a peaceful and joyful place to be.
'Our song' was always Jim Croce's Time In A Bottle. The words to that song have never been more real to me than now. My memories are our Time In A Bottle and I can take them out and enjoy them any time I want! I am so thankful to have been blessed to have our time together. To have loved and been loved with so much devotion. To have been treasured by a gentle man.
As I heal, I know I will progress to the music and memories of the later years and the quiet contentment of growing older together. The soulful days of growing in the Lord as a family. Learning to trust Him completely with every aspect of our lives, even when it felt as though our lives were flying apart.
Till that time comes, I hope you enjoy a song or two and that, just maybe, one might bring back a nice memory for you too.